Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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