ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize