fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize