ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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