Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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