Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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