Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
