So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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