Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
