I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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