The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize