I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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