he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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