stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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