So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
