hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
