hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
