if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
where are my eyebrows?
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