So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize