All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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