Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize