Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
