I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
