Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
