And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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