oh god the rape fog is back!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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