please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Randomize
