in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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