tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
