It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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