just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
