There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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