Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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