It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
