You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
