omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
