so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
