im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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