Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i love accidental penises.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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