chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
