Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
