Your dad touched me again.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
