Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
