Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
this beer tastes like vomit already
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
