my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
bring money and cleavage
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
