I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
