Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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