Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize