were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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