I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
