you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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