She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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