Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
