It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
