I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
