Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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