Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
