You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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